Saturday, Fourth Week
"And I make it a rule only to keep pets I can eat." - Geoff, 4/11
"Sleep is just like waffles, except.... um.... actually, sleep IS a lot like waffles."
OK, so it's actually Sunday by now. Who cares. "Sleep is for those who have nothing better to do in their shim-sham lives of paper and salt."
So that's the second self-quote this time around that has to do with sleep. Perhaps because I haven't, yet. Ah, so.
Gotta love short paragraphs.
In any case, today I grasped one of my life-long dreams. But first, I had a relaxing day at the beach. A beach one is not allowed to swim at. 'Death cann occur' my hair; they just don't wnat to pay for life guards. Actually, I guess I acheived two life dreams, since we dug a giant hole and buried me up to my neck in sand. And then they left me there.
But after that, and some hiking, and a spontaneous picnic on the beach as the sun set, I acheived a life-long dream. That's raight, I answered a ringing payphone. I heard it ring, and I began to tingle.... with DESTINY. I ran over. I picked it up. I said, "Hello." and then I had a short conversation that I won't go into too much detail on. Let it suffice to say that it contained the word 'skateboard' and did not have anything to do with a wrong number. Oh, yeah.
The rest of this post will be less interesting, I guess. Or I could cut it short, and met yet another violent girl named Jenny. At least, she says she's violent. She's so cool, and here's why: I've often seen her around campus, and she's seen me, but never once have words been exchanged.... until last Friday night, when we were formally introduced. The very first thing she ever said to me was, "I'm a violent person."
I think I'm in love. Well, no, but it's still a pretty sweet greeting, neh?
Thursday, Second Week
"Chipped beef is, like, all-consuming, and it is best to consume it all." - Matthew "HS" Bishop, 3/27
"Say goodbye / Don't drop me a line / Can't get to sleep at night, but / I'll be fine" - 'Cheyenne', Value Pac
"Slip, trip, and kiss me!" - some song by the Spill Canvas
I quote these lines in the hope that doing so will get them out of my head. It's been a bit since I uploaded a post. Oh, I have that one from yesterday to type and upload.... I'll do that now.
Aaaaand.... done. See the fruits of my labours below. Only talk about two things tonight; gotta do homework, after all. Well, I went back up to 805 after Bible Study to ask Anna if she'd care to go to Pericles with me, since I won tickets from Shakespeare Karaoke. When I came back, there was a young man sitting in the room as well. They introduced him as Anna's brother. Hmmm. I chatted with everyone for a bit, and then attempted to quietly leave, but they stopped me, asking why I'd come back up. I hadn't really wanted to ask her out in front of her little brother, but since they asked, I explained. She said she'd email me later, after she had a chance to look at her schedule. *browfurrow* I'll just keep telling myself I don't understand women. On that note, this. I love that one. Read other ones, too, a lot of them are good.
Yeah, and I have no money. Or rather, I used to have no money. I used to have six cents, pretty much. Then I found two pennies. Having no money.... it's so liberating. One has to depend so much on God; I love it. Only my tips from Fred's allowed me to laundry last week, and I think that's kickin' cool. I was forty-one cents short to buy my CS textbook today, but later remembered the five-dollar bill that mysteriously appeared in my wallet over the weekend. Now I have nine cents to my name, which I'm carrying around to give to homeless people; everything else is being saved so I can buy Kant's The Foundations of the Metaphysics of Morals for HBC. Life is great! I no longer spend money in a wasteful manner, because I no longer have such money! And I won't anytime soon, either! Even when I do, I'll have to save it for books and tuition. It's uncertain, and I love it! But now I have to do my homework. Good night.
Math class, Wednesday, Second Week
"Look, I almost have an outline! I just need to take out all the anti-Semitism!" - Geoff, 3/18
I'm here because I had to take a quiz, and it would be rude to now leave. So I figured I'd recap (what is recap short for, anyway? Re-capture?) instead of falling asleep. Ideally, it'll look like I'm taking notes.... or whatever.
I love my schedule. Wednesday is a nine-hour day on campus, Monday is twelve. No Tuesday, no Thursday, and's looking to be just one -albeit at 9:30- on Friday. And even on the busy days, every other class is non-academic (eg. Drama, Modern Dance). I can sleep and play Morrowind all day on my off days. It's so bomb.
I'm also not around much -at least so far- on the weekends. I'm going up to my uncle's this weekend for my little cousin's birthday, and next Sunday I'm going to a play for Drama class -on Easter, yeah. And this past weekend, I went to the Province V Spring Gathering retreat. Man, that was fun. Met people, made friends, pulled my groin dancing, the usual. Good times.
[Then class got out.]
Monday, First Week
"It smells like fake banana pudding? That's a whole lot better than dead mouse." - Kate, 3/31
Gotta change the colour scheme. "Prom Queen" by Value Pac is a good song. Most songs by Value Pac are good, actually. But anyway. I was going to respond to Amanda, but I just finished reading Chekhov's The Seagull.... yeah. If you've read it, you know what I mean. Or maybe it doesn't do that to everyone. Maybe it's just because I know Nina. But that can be dealt with later. To Amanda:
Dear Amanda:
I hope you can forgive me for airing this in such a public manner, secluded as it is here. I am doing it for two reasons: So that I think just a little bit harder about what I'm saying, and therefore am fairer to you, and because I know I'd write about it here anyway, and fear that seperating my counsel to you from my extrospection on matters might cause me to be overly patronizing in the former and bitter in the latter. I don't have a problem with hypocrisy, but that'd just be sucky of me, I think we both agree. So then, my replies....
First, I have totalk about this Phil dude, I suppose. I don't know him. I don't know your relationship with him. I wasn't there to see events unfold, and so I can't say anything meaningful about any of that. YES, it seemed rather sudden to me, which caused me to find it really kind of creepy. One has to take into account, though, that I still loved you, and, had you offered me another chance after breaking up with Jon, I would have taken it. Jealousy (for lack of a gentler, more fitting word) was, of course, affecting my views on the matter, and as a rational person counseling a friend, I know that such tainted opinions cannot be relied upon. In short, I can't say anything bad about your relationship with Phil, other than that I really hope you're happy and will continue to be so, and also that it really is what God wants for you. So.
Now to the meat of the matter. It seems to me that this other issue is completely seperate from the one just discussed. I hope that's not just my idealism shining through. But let's say for now that this ideal is, indeed the actual fact. ("Can I find actual what I know is ideal?" Don't mind me, I'm being bitter on the side.) So, you're thinking of dropping out of college after this semester because (a)your ultimate ambition in life is to serve God as a full-time wife and mother (b)you don't know what degree you want to pursue (c)you are unable to visualize what you might do with any such degree (as a housewife?) and (d)you feel that continuing to pay oodles of cash for college is a waste in light of all this, and your time would be better spent working. Let me say right now that, while (a) is fine thing and there's nothing wrong with it, my views differ from your on most of the other points. Indulge me now to go through them one by one and raise my objections.
Firstly, a college degree will not prevent you from becoming an effective wife or mother, or in any other way harm such capacities. It will, as I'm sure you realize, cause a delay in their acheivment, but as has been shown far too many times, something that does have a tendency to hinder effectiveness in wfeliness and especially motherhood is getting married too earlier (and, subsequently, bearing children too early). It is my belief that the years spent completeing college (though that is not necesarily the only option you may choose to fill those years with, eg. Peace Corp, Seminary, living abroad, or just working) may give you valuable experience that will help you better acheive your goals.
Secondly, many young adults do not yet know their field of study by teh end of their first year of college. The aim of most college is not to make men and women into perfect tools for one task alone, but to sharpen them in general and give to them some of the many benefits civilization has prepared over the years. Even if you end up with a silly degree or no degree at all, college is a unique experience and should be savored while the opportunity is present. After getting your e-mail, I happened to re-read Ecclesiastes (Did you know it's alternately called "The Preacher"?) 3. In this chapter, it talks about how seasons come and go, and the role of mankind is to enjoy the opportunities the Lord has given and praise the goodness of the Lord. Rushing to get where you know you'll end up does not seem to fit that standard.
Thirdly, though a degree is largely meaningless and unimportant, it still holds bearing in society. The truth is, a degree will get you a better job if you choose to have one, and better pay as well. It will increase your credibility as a worthwhile person to the world around you, making you ministry more effective.
Fourthly, the oodles of cash. There is really no solution to this, but the point is moot if, as I hope, my previous arguments have shown the merits of continuing your college education for a while longer.
Finally, I'd like to bring up a few other things, like your parents. I know you don't agree with your parents on many issues, but you are exhorted to honour them, and dropping out of college without a whole monkey lot of consideration would be rash, and no honour at all.
Basically, Amanda, what I'm saying is, really think about this. Talk to your other friends, your pastor, professors, your advisor, whatever. I can understand if you don't talk to your parents. Just.... I don't want to see you make a mistake. And, truthfully, I have trouble seeing any way dropping out of college would not be. I'm sorry. You have my assurance that you would still have my love and friendship. I pray you'll never do anything that could make those cease. I love you, Amanda. Write back. -Ian
It took me quite a while to finish (heh) that. Probably because of the hour-and-a-half break in the middle where I hung out in Dan's room, trying to get over how depressing the ending of The Seagull was. Wow. I just checked, and I've definately written my thousand words today. I'm tired of typing, working. I guess I extrospect on the play later. Goodnight, a Dieu.
Monday, First Week
"Well, the place still smells like food. That hasn't changed." - Aby, 3/31
Yes, I'm making changes. I was just going to sit here and drown my sorrows in Hee-Haw, but things happen.
I set myself up. I set myself up. I put on the emo-mood playlist and read the e-mail de Amanda. Por supuesto, here I am now, mopey and slightly pissed off. At least I finally changed something.
The reason I haven't posted in so long is that I wrote a really good, really long post and accidentally deleted it. Therefor, recap as best I can remember. For brevity's sake (ha, ha, I know), I'll do it in song lyrics:
Monday - "A Perfect Sonnet" by Bright Eyes
Once you knew a girl and you named her Lover
Danced with her in kitchens through the greenest summer
Autumn came, she disappeared, you don't remember
Where she said she was going to
But you know
That she's gone
'Cause she left you a song
Saying I believe that lovers should be tied together
Thrown into a fire with their songs and letters
Left there to burn
Left there to burn in their arrogance
Wednesday, Thursday - "I'm So Happy" by Hokus Pick
What a bright and sunny day!
Wonder what the papers say?
....
I'm so happy!
Feelin' snappy!
My life is rosy!
I'm feeling comfy-cosy!
Friday - "Bombs Over Broadway" by Squad Five-O
Bombs! Bombs! Bombs over Broadway!
Bombs! Bombs! Bombs over Broadway!
Monday was when I compiled the playlist, incidentally. What really set me off was, first, talking with Amanda, and, second, seeing Dinesh try to write a letter to his ex-girlfriend. Shafting empathy. I was not actually awake Tuesday, really. At least, I don't remember anything. Thursday night, I went to a concert at Fireside Bowl. A kid at the college had sent out an e-mail saying his band was playing, and mentioned that Examination of the... would be there. Now, Exam is a Sioux Falls band, so I had to show support. It was fun, and cool. I bought a CD by What the Kids Want, because they were good. The CD is really short, but worth every cent. I also met a dude who said he'd tell me about shows coming up, Sean. Plus one of the dudes from Exam recognised me, even with my haircut, which I take as proof that it wasn't just the hair. Also, Exam had these shirts that had the (really spiffy) logo from their CD on it, and EXAM printed next to it. So I bought one to wear to my examin the morning. Looking at the venue schedule, I also saw that Squad Five-O had played the night before. I was sad that I'd missed it, and couldn't help but wonder if they played "Bombs Over Broadway" (in light of current events).
Next day I took my exam, packed, and left. I blame protesters for ruining a perfectly good garment bag. Yeah. Had to ride (with my stuff) around on the buses and subways because of those shafters. Shafters. But I made it to Uncle Tim's safely enough. Spring break.... played a lot of videogames. Wisdom teeth out. Crashed with HS and Paul for a few days. Now I'm back. If you're in a praying mood, pray for me this quarter, that I stay on track. I need to keepstrong in my devotion to the Lord, focus on my academics, be wise with my finances, and keep my health in order while working to regain fitness. Above and beyond this, I could really use some pray about having enough money to pay the college this quarter. It'll be tight.
The real post I set out to make was an open letter to Amanda, but I'm too cheerful and hungry by now for that. Perhaps after dinner. Bon appetite, all you crazy chow-hounds.
before Sunday
- Conveying: Abandon
- Now Playing: "Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk" - Rufus Wainright
- The Saying: "Either thou art most ignorant by age, or thou wert born a fool." - Leontes, Act 2 Scene 1 of The Winter's Tale by Shakespeare
- When Praying: Thanks that my hat is returned! Praise the Lord!
I'm wearing my favorite outfit. The outfit I wear after I've dressed up. White undershirt, scrub pants, and dress socks. Usually, as now, it's accompanied by the St. Andrews golf cap.
No one is allowed to make fun of me for my musical selection.
Just got back from the third floor, where Sarah and her roommate are still awake. I was just there to use the elevators, and I saw that their door was fully open. So I stopped by. Sarah was also wearing scrub pants, incidentally.
Waiting that extra while at Boomcrash was a good idea. You see, everyone (from our floor) was leaving, and they didn't want to wait for Bernadette. So I told them to go on ahead and I would stay. Well, the cops came not long after and we left. Bernadette's friend Vanessa went somewhere else and it ended up being just Bernadette and myself walking together. We had a very nice walk and conversation. Have I ever mentioned Bernadette? She's very pretty.
I don't think this 'writing a rough draft thing' will work out. I'll just write the paper tomorrow. I started writing one, but it wasn't going anyhere, and I realized that it wasn't the right topic for this paper. Not realy enough time to work on another, so I'll go to bed when I'm done with this. I need to write my paper on Othello's Iago, not The Winter's Tale.
Time to exercise and go to bed. Hopefully, I'll remember to take out my contacts this time.
"sister, Check out this tragic accident familiar. laugh."
Thursday afternoon
- Portraying: Blue Comb '78
- Conveying: Sadness
- Now Playing: "Cheyenne" - Value Pac
- The Saying: "Someone put her out of my misery." - 'Mind Game, Value Pac
- When Praying: That I get my hat back.... and finals, I guess
My childhood fell out of my back pocket today.
I want someone to say to me, "Man, it was just a hat," so I could yell and scream at them, "Do you know know how little past I have? How little history, memory, heritage? Tradition? Do you know how precious these things are to me? How precious the manifestations of these things are to me? That hat was my freaking childhood!"
....and so on. I guess I'm calmer now. There's not much I can do about it. I went up and down the route I had walked since I last knew I had the hat, but it did me no good. Even if I could get another hat like that, it wouldn't be as good. This sucks. I guess now all I can hope for is that, when I come back and read this, I'll remember that hat, nad by remembering that hat, remember the things it meant.The way I used to wear it. The loose string I eventually fixed myself. Playing T-ball, bending the bill, and chewing clover. Walking into Hy-Vee. So much more. The way it got so soft after so much use. I doubt I'll ever have another hat like that one. I guess I'll get over it.
I wish, I pray, I hope that I could have it back. Please.
Feeds: