Feeds:Valentine's Day
"Would that be turning the thurible into a weapon of Mass destruction?" -Jet, 02/11/2007
"It's so much less confusing when lines are drawn like that, when people are either consumers or revolutionaries, enemies or friends hanging on to the fringes of the cogs in the system; it's just about knowing where everyone stands." Hm. Against Me! lyrics. Don't see that every day, but that song was playing, and it caught me.
Also catching me, from the same night as the quote above, Jeremiah 17:9, part of last Sunday's Revised Common Lectionary reading. "The heart is devious above all else; it is perverse. Who can understand it?"
You know, I didn't intend for this to be a Valentine's Day post, but things seem to be leaning that way, so maybe I'll go with the flow. My heart is devious, and maybe it is beyond me to understand it. Maybe only the Lord has the ability to search the hearts and minds of men (oh, man, if I could grep my brain, how sweet would that be?), but that doesn't stop me from stubbornly believing I should and could have full control over everything that [is in my body? I am? I consist of? makes up my person?]. So my heart is devious, but it's younger that I am, and I like to think I could take it down if I wanted to.
So Leah, I've been realising lately, is a pretty violent person. Pacifistic politically, she uses manipulation and force of will to get her way fairly often in her personal life. This may sound like condemnation, but remember that I like Hobbes and I approve of these as legitimate methods, and would not be suprised if it was asserted that I posses these traits in much greater force. Nosce te ipsum, I know, but I don't commit the cognitive resources necessary to monitor all of my output. Perhaps that should be rectified.
In any case, Leah is a violent person. This had been troubling me for some time, until I realised -perhaps 'remembered' is the better word- how attractive that is to me. This was circa Monday. The heart is indeed devious. I looked back at other girls (at some point, I'll need to start referring to them as 'young women') I've been attracted to, dated, flirted with, et cetera, and saw the common thread of violence (along with a few physical traits) running between them.
"Now we see things as in a mirror dimly," sings The Mountain Goats as I type this. More lyrics and more Scripture in the same neat little package. Oh, that crazy fundamental-interconnectedness-of-all-things which may-or-may-not-exist. Bringing us neatly to uncertainty, which I was typing about when I heard the line above, anyway. Heisenburg's principle has a tendency to leak from quantum physics into larger classes of reality, or at least, to seem a good lens (perhaps gel would be the more appropriate analogy, but everyone's comfortable with this analogy) through which to view other sorts of questions. Can I know both where I am and where I'm going to be? Right now, I know where I am; kind of a refreshing change, honestly (Leah has often accused me, as it happens, of not knowing where I am in time and space). I don't really know where I'm going to be. I don't even know where I want to be, but I trust that I'll get there. Read the story of Balaam this morning, and I'm feeling pretty good. I don't know if everything being OK is a continuous function, but I do believe that there exists a time t greater than t0 for which it returns a positive value, and that this is true for any t0.
When I said that "Final Countdown" was the 1812 Overture of Today, Alexis asserted that, due to the "fake gun sounds in the background" -an exact quote- it should be more properly associated with rap. An interesting analysis.
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