Smallhouse Log

still Wednesday

So one of the things I had for breakfast was a sandwich. I used my new toaster to make it. But as I ate this sandwich, I realized that everything on it was a condiment. That was pretty jarring.

Please forgive the pun.

As I watched There Will Be Blood (spoiler: There wasn't. Not much, anyway.) last night, it occurred to me once again that I'd rather be blind than deaf. Usually I come to this conclusion because of my love of music and conversation, but this time a veritable benefit of blindness presented itself before my very, ah, eyes. I would never have to answer e-mail again. I hate receiving e-mail, almost without fail. I hate checking e-mail, I hate responding to e-mail, and generally don't care for writing e-mails in general. If I never got another e-mail in my life, the overall quality of my life would have improved.

Which is not to say I hate all individual e-mails. The scav ones are reliably fun, and anyone who's reading this is almost certainly welcome to send me one. I might take a week to reply, though. Nothing will change my hatred of checking my e-mail.

Comments have closed.

v responded within a day.

You're really sure that bribery (note previous use of double back massage and brownies) doesn't negate or at least lessen your hatred? *doubting look
Nemo responded within a day.

NOTHING. But you know, I'll still check it, if only for the ever-present possibility of, yes, brownies, backrubs, and bearsuit pictures.
Will responded within a day.

Nothing, sir? You jest. Good thing I know semaphore from studying Wuthering Heights.
@ responded within a day.

in an attempt to get you to be more likely to check email, please recall that your failure to check said email led to a clip board being broken over your head.
Nemo responded within a day.

I had forgotten about the clipboard. Maybe such gaps in my memory were caused by, oh, I don't know, head trauma. But more likely by my seething hatred of checking my e-mail (which, mind you all, I still do about five times a day).
v responded within a day.

on a related note, i will be coming back with brownies on Sunday (and am even being nice enough to inform you in non-email format). Also, I want to know where the semaphore is - I'm over halfway through and as of yet, no semaphore!
Nemo responded within a day.

What a coincidence! I will be able to eat brownies on Sunday!

Also, I just had another one of those sandwiches. Delicious but eerie.

Will responded within 2 days.

Could it be you associate checking email with some painful memory, such as, well I'm guessing here, head trauma? Instead of exotic brownies? Yeah, the Semaphore Version of Wuthering Heights is actually a Monty Python sketch. Stop looking.
Patrick responded within 2 days.

DARN YOU!!!
Nemo responded within 2 days.

Hey, watch your language around here, or I'll sock you one! I don't want this thread getting sullied by foul language. Do you cotton to what I'm saying? Now mend your ways, because you're acting like a real heel. That way we can patch up our friendship and forget this hole thing.

Nemo responded within 2 days.

Things like that really needle me. I could spin you a yarn or two about past incidents, but I'm pretty worn out.

gzt responded within 2 days.

I think the salient question, which has still not been answered, is, "WHICH CONDIMENTS?"
Nemo responded within 2 days.

Mustard and alfalfa sprouts.

v responded within 2 days.

i wouldn't consider alfalfa sprouts a condiment. They're not in a jar or packed with preservatives (both of which I link strongly to condiments).
Patrick responded within 3 days.

Sorry for the faux pas— if you'll pardon me now, I'll just take my foul mouth somewhere else...
Will responded within 3 days.

what exactly did i do to receive such verbal abuse? couldn't you have used like &%*&$#@!!! symbols? and mustard isn't necessarily in a jar either.
Nemo responded within 3 days.

"faux pas"? Is that the best you could come up with? That really tears me.

Naw, I'm just funning ya, that put me in stitches. But when you see an opening, you just gotta run with it.

See what happens when you get me all riled up? I become like the fierce puma, stocking its unsuspecting prey: my mind focused on a single thing.