Smallhouse Log

Second night of the Three-O-Clock Club

Portraying: Proud Founding Member of the Three-O-Clock Club
Conveying: Happy fatigue
Now Playing: "These Old Feelings" - Madcap
When Praying: Pretty much this whole floor - they're awesome people; Amanda; Me

Actually, by now, the song playing is Flogging Molly's "What's Left of the Flag". Anyway, things are.... well, I started today by getting up too early, because I thought I had a language placement test. I ended up eating pancakes in Room 727 and running to catch the (demon) bus to take the honours chemistry qualifying test, which I might very well take if I'm up that early anyway, even though I'm not planning on any chem classes anytime soon. Spent most of the day on campus, since there was never time to take the (demon) bus back to my dorm. Went on a scavenger hunt downtown with one third of the Fishbein gang, competeing against the other two thirds. I talked a fairbit with the dude who always wears the suitcoat -his name begins with a d. It was mostly sarcastic, dry humour, and we both loved it. After that, we got all rallied up for soccer practice (my fault, because I asked Craig if we were having it that night), but we ended up hanging out at the Billy Goat Tavern instead, and ate yummy pub food. Then we took the bus home, and I spent all my money on other people's bus fare so we could all get home together.

Jason is going to sell me his ethernet card for five dollars if we can get it to work. To get connected, it looks like I'll have to get Windows 98/2000/XP or whatever, but apparantly I can get it at a monkey-large student discount. Cool, neh? Oh, yeah, and now I know how to work the phone. Beth and I got Jason to stay up with us until three tonight. The cause is growing. We tried to watch GATTACA just now, and were all falling asleep, so we postponed it. Well, I've got four hours of sleep to get now, so I'll stop typing.

My last day at home

Portraying: A naked man sitting in a tree
Conveying: Excitement
Now Playing: "Buddy Holly" - Weezer
The Saying: "I don't know how to read. I went to Lincoln, remember?" - a deliveryman, 08/17
When Praying: Me!; Amanda; Paul; All the people I'll leave behind; My dad, because he's psycho-crazy-style worried about me
Betraying: Amanda

Today is prbably the last day I'll post in while. Maybe even a fortnight. Maybe more. I just don't know. But I'm ready for adventure. If all else fails, I might just begin actually using LJ. *shudder*

Mercredo

Portraying: Mourice
Conveying: Relief, anxiety, and exhileration all at once
Now Playing: "All for You" - Sister Hazel
The Saying: "Perfection at its best, right there." - Andy W., pd
When Praying: Paul - his (ex)girlfriend was just using him, and he's taken up drinking; Amanda, because I love her; Sophie - because she's skipping school, and coudl use a health dose of God besides
Betraying: Until a minute ago , when the stupid piece of MSN signed me out for no reason and wouldn't let me sign back in, it was Jody, Hannah, Paul, and Jaycee

A lot has happened since Saturday. I've been saying my goodbyes, in various ways. I went to one last concert, and said goodbye to (and finally learned the names of) TJ, Catwoman -her name, it seems, is Taylor. She doesn't look like a Taylor- and also bid farewell to others, such as Parker (this is, what? the third time I've said farewell to him?), Karly, Shawn, Babysitter (his name is Rudy, but I knew that before), Quincy, and that one tall blonde girl, among others. I hung out in the park with Sophie, Jen, and Kelly (yes, Kelly. Not that's he's a close friend, but he was there. So was Sophie's friend Danielle). I went down to the underground and made one final purchase. Today was my last day at both jobs, too, which I celebrated by -you guessed it- working extra hours at both. It's been along day. I got a shot, too, and those suckers scare the living tacos out of me. I biked around on Sunday, too.... almost like, "Goodbye, Sioux Falls."

I'm almost sad. I can't afford to miss any of this yet. Missing Amanda is bad enough.

Oh, yeah, and I wrote a poem. people who've seen it like it. I like it. It's about a battle that was never fought, a girl that never existed, and some other things that never happened.

Saturday night!

Conveying: Exhileration
Now Playing: the Onesiphorus demo CD I just got.... for free
The Saying: "Not even you know what you do some of the time, and that just adds to the flavor of the expirience." - "HS" Matthew Bishop, 08/31
Betraying: Amanda; Jody; Kat

Watching people is fun. have you ever watched someone who was watching someone watch someone else?

I plan to do the same thing tomorrow that I did last Sunday -disappear without a trace. It should be fun.

I've forgotten what I really wanted to post about. I'll just note, then, that the Mall is a weird place. It's the only place I can go in Sioux Falls where not everyone knows me. Is that what college will be like?

I remember part of it: You know those black shirts from Hot Topic that say "You laugh because I'm different; I laugh because you're all the same."? Well, I want a white shirt with black print that reads "You laugh because I'm the same; I laugh because you're all the freakin' same too, losers." I know, I'm a horrible person.

I think I've remembered all of it now.... I realized tonight that I just don't 'get' this whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing. What's the point of sticking a label on someone you care about like that? Even if Amanda and I weren't 'going out', I still wouldn't want to look at other girls, because I only care about her. I was going through that whole "Should I break up with Amanda?" cycle of thought again recently, and I realized that there was no point to it. I'm devoted to her, and one little label wouldn't change that. I'd still feel bad if I didn't talk to her; I'd still miss her; I'd still look forward to the next time I could see her. The fact that I might not be mature enough to handle a serious relationship like this still stands, but there's nothing I can do about it either way; with the exception, possibly, of growing up. I hate growing up. I typically don't mind it afterward, but the process itself is horrible. *sigh* It's really time for me to go to bed now. It's not even Saturday anymore, acording to the chronometer. (Have I mentioned that I also care not for chronometry in general? Maybe it's just because I'm 'chronometrically challenged' myself. Whatever.)

On a final note: Man, do I love Soul Calibur II.

Today

Portraying: "I wrote a hit play! ....And I'm in love with you."
Conveying: Tiredness
The Saying: "I saved Latin; what did you ever do?" - Max, Rushmore
When Praying: Amanda
Betraying: Jim, Amanda

I feel like today is today. It seems like, to everyone else it will always be a year after, or two years after, or however many years after the day the twin towers fell. 9-11. And how many years, decades will it take until this is just another day? Until it is forgotten? One year ago was not just another day, and it must not be forgotten.

It's shameful that I still haven't compiled the memorium I started 364 days ago. But I will. I will. In the meantime, I've got friends to say farewell to, a girlfriend to love, and a roomful of memories to pack into neatly labled boxes.

I've got a week. Happy birthday, Zarya, Karla, Mrs. D-C, and everyone else. I love you all.

after Sunday

Portraying: Weyebrow - veminutes agory
Conveying: Tiredness
Now Playing: "Cali Blacktop" - Red Cloud
The Saying: "It's all just illusion without the showgirls." - Matthew "Hot Stuff" Bishop, 08/31
When Praying: Matt; Amanda; Ian
Betraying: Karla TeSlaa, Kat

Mysterious music eminating from a dark house.... barefoot strangers that appear from nowhere and disappear into anywhere.... beckoning gaps in a long hedgewall: this is what life is like when I'm riding a bicycle. I left on my bicycle at eleven this morning for church. I arrived home on my bike at midnight. I rode every which way across this beautiful city. It all started last night, when I had to return two videos to Lewis by nine-o-clock. perhaps I'll tell that story another day. Good night, you fearsome beings I dare to call friends.

Friday

Portraying: Bad Person
Conveying: the onset of [apathy?]
Now Playing: "Freshmen" - The Verve Pipe
The Saying: "I wasn't prepared to have air in my lungs." - Amanda Juntunen, 08/02
When Praying: Amanda; Ian; Matt (HS)
Betraying: Kat

Have you ever watched the movies Rushmore and The Royal Tenenbaums? Yeah, yeah, but have you ever watched them together? I mean back-to-back, or even on the same day? Do so, and you will discover just how related the movies are. There's the big fancy stuff that most everyone can notice -and then there's other stuff. The teacher from Max's daydream is one of Royal's doctors. The DJ at the Heaven and Hell Cotillion is also one of the medics that shows up after Eli crashes his car.

Well, I just opened Amanda's email saying I have to call her in three minutes. Good night.