Saturday, Fourth Week back
"Oh, I'm smart; just not in the ways of learning." - Drew, 07/07
This song is cheering me up. ("I Just Threw Out the Love of My Dreams"by Weezer, covered by Men In Drag) I suppose that's a good thing, since I'm having one of those nights where I regret living past my twentieth birthday. Not even half a week goes by where I don't feel like that, wishing.... not that I died, because I put very little stock in that; not wishing I was dead, because I never plan to be so; not even really wishing that I'd just failed to live, because that's a horrible thing to wish; maybe just wishing.... just wishing I was done with this beautiul sham called Life, and on to that better, inestimably better life after it. But I have other things I need to write about.
I really can't see anyone caring much about what I write here. I'm fairly sure nobody reads this often at all, even those who used to sometimes: Z, Amanda, Hannah, Jacee even. I guess Erin reads it. Good for her. Apparantly my extended family has found it; better watch my mouth, neh? So, if you don't care, that's fine. I amuse myself plenty.
Wow, two depressing paragraphs in a row. Good thing they're only pseudo-depressing. Anyway, on Thursday, went with Lisa to the The Way show at the Underground. It was great. I was disappointed that they didn't play "Hard to Believe", but they had some awesome new stuff that picked up the slack. The headlining band, The Swift, was also bomb; some of their songs are still in my head. They also had a song that was addressed to me - "Moshing Machine". It's hilarious, moreso because it's somewhat of a slower, mellower song. Afterwards, she abducted me and we watched Chasing Amy, because it was the only one I haven't seen. After a while, Toby, her boyfriend, came over and hung out. He's a good guy; I'm happy for her. It's easy to see that he's a little.... jealous isn't the word, but he's a little possesive of her around me. It's a decent reaction, but I think we both know he's got nothing to worry about.
....Anyway, Chasing Amy. Man, that is an awesome movie. I almost want to watch it again yet this weekend. Go and see it, but not around your parents, kids, siblings, or anyone else easily affected negatively by what they watch/see you watching. It's got 'touchy' subject matter, and some very choice language, if you follow. I don't really care; I've heard worse. To me, it seems like an extremely Romantic story, capital R. No swordfights or pirates, true, but still a great movie. Hey, if I can have Life is Beautiful as one of my favorite movies, why not this one?
On that note, I want to see Pirates of the Carribean; it's intriguing, as all pirate movies are. Like Jonah. Yeah, the VeggieTales one. I want to see that.
I started training at Denny's on Wednesday, and I'm started at Homewood Suites (by Hilton) on Monday; server and housekeeping, respectively. Denny's isn't bad. In fact, it's fun, if tiring. I get a bit distracted sometimes, though; today I played with the kids' toys for about half an hour. (I was upfront, training in Hosting. Everyone else says Hostressing, but.... yeah.) Also, there's girls, or rather, young women. Well, some of them are girls. It's not some big thing, because I really don't care about that -during the day, anyway. Obviously, I get moody at night. But some of the other employees are kind of cute. Penny, for example. Cute like buttons. Everytime I hear her name, I think of Penny from Inspector Gadget. She actually looks rather like that, but grown up. Jill, my fellow trainee, is very pretty, but four years older than me.
Sidenode: Yesterday, while at work, I found a wowan significantly older than myself beautiful, for the first time in my life that I can recall. I can't even say what it was. Her age was obvious, but.... she wasn't beautiful despite that, she was beautiful through it. Made me think that maybe there still are things to look forward to.
And there's Emily. Now, 'Emily' is already an attractive name, but this particular Emily, a hostess, is a little darker in complexion and has beautiful hair, but what struck me is her Eyes. It was all I could see the first few times I looked at her. They're just.... they're.... man, they're, like, Eyes. Most people have just eyes, but these.... these are Eyes. They're a shining (think spotlight now) pair of features that are too bright to be blue and too pale to be grey, if that's not too poetic to make sense. Today I was able to take in the rest of her, and she's definately cute. I think she was even in a dream I had last night; except in the dream she was a cousin of Nate Aldrich. She said to me, when we were alone in my grandmother's living room, that she found me charming. I answered, from my seat on the floor, that I thought she was terribly beautiful. But I learned today that she's probably too young for me. Maybe I should stop assuming things like that, though I think that was probably an accurate estimation in this case.
Describing Emily's eyes was one of my main reasons for posting. That done, there's also a manager there, named Erin, who I wouldn't have found beautiful a couple years ago. She looks terribly like Amanda. Incidentally, my/my family's invitation to Amanda's weddin in August just came in the mail. I saw it today. It's cute. I think my dad expected some big reaction, but I already knew after all. It's not that I don't care, because I'm happy for her as a friend. But I guess I'm not a terrible good friend to Amanda, since I tend to keep my feelings about her repressed. I dont know if I've ever mentioned it, but I was still in love with her when she broke up. I don't think I am know; I try to not be. That's horrible, but it's just like what I remember her saying as it happened: Love hurts too much.
I am now trying to be nicer to Drew. It's not easy. Good things he's leaving for a week.
Wednesday, Third Week of Summer Break
"Here in America we say 'Older than I'." - John Peca-Medlin, aka Bolivia, 6/11
Back for this long, still not able to find a job. And this time, I've actually been looking. Argh.... dunno why I'm posting. Not like anythings happened. Caitlin, Caitlin Cummins, she's going to Southwest State next fall, where Matt, Evil Paul, and Gwen Parmeter go. Yeah. So.
I'm going to bed.
Tuesday, Finals Week
"But I didn't start out as a facist; I was just supposed to be a costume designer." - Sarah Birge, 5/20
Yes, well, today I start packing. I also should register for classes pretty soon here. And my birthday's tomorrow. Fwee.
Why was I posting? Something about maybe working on the site? Meh.
Oh, yeah, and my screenname is now 'The Schlieffen Plan'. Go figure.
Wednesday, Tenth Week
"The adjective is lost in the sentence just as I am lost in your eyes, ears, nose, and throat." - One of the accapela groups on 6/03
I had half a post written on Monday, and then my computer stopped working. Graah. But here I am in Fred's again, re-posting and posting anew.
"I must be made of steel" - I wish I had a shirt that said that. It's off the the Men In Drag CD. The song is "I Just Threw Out the Love of My Dreams" by Weezer. The MID version is incredibly catchy; the Weezer, less so.
"Call me morbid, or absurd...." Hannah, Jeremy, and Kaleb are coming down for the weekend, since I sent them an email with that subject line inviting them. It's from song "Friend Is a Four-Letter Word", also off the MID CD.
Yeah, so, the long and short of the weekend is I was depressed on Saturday and full of love of Monday. I love my roommates, which I'd been praying for ever since I found out I didn't a week and a half ago, so that's good. End recap of last post.
On Monday, walking home in my dress clothes with a bouquet of flowers leftover from a memorial service in Bond, I passed by a black lady on the sidewalk. The woman said, "She's gonna be happy." At this, my heart leapt within me; it really made my day, for no discernable reason. I mean, they weren't for any particular girl; they were for all of the many young lady friends of mine I may run into, though I was certainly hoping certain of those young women would appreciate the flowers in a certain way, indeed. Wow, that was a lot of certain.
However, I screwed up but good recently. I don't think it needs to be talked about in detail here, but I broke Bernadette's trust through a misunderstanding, and now she thinks I'm immature in a bad way and I'm not sure if she's forgiven me yet.
In up news, talked to Erin for a good long time today online. Rock. In down news, I have to finish (heh) Moby Dick by tomorrow sometime and write un composición sobre el libro. I'd like to do it before the Michiganians get here, so I'd better start reading now. But, hey, with this crowd down here, my twentieth birthday won't be nearly as depressing. I wish I didn't have to pay to eat the food here at Fred's. That 3 Musketeers Bar is lookin'good.... mmm.
Saturday, Eigth Week
"As your friend, I just need to fondle your shoulders." - Bernadette, 4/30
I write these lines by candlelight. We had a blackout just after I started typing, and even now, as I sit back down, we dun know what happened.
Fortunately, I have a battery-operable stereo and an laptop computer. Meh. Everyone's in my room now, because we have all the candle, I guess. I changed my screen name from ' Slip, trip and kill me ' to ' Same song, shorter versus '. I'll probably change it again soon.
Well, lights are back, but people are still here, with lights out, drinking in the dark. Fun. I'll do this later, I guess.
Friday, Seventh Week
"My wrists are not strong enough right now, nor are my jeans stretchy enough." - Beth, 11/19
Just as I get over sleep deprivation from Scav Hunt, which caused me to skip most of my Monday classes, I get horribly ill and miss all of my Wednesday classes. Just as I get over that, I catch whatever Alice had, and now, though fully functional (intellectually speaking -and considering the hour) I feel like junk. My throat is closing up and all I can drink is hot tea.... or maybe other warm fluids, tea's really the only one I've tried yet (read: I've been drinking it constantly since before Bible Study last night). I'm just past the sunrise of an all-nighter, but I've got my CS done and my Math done enough, so all that's left is the Kant paper.
If I fall asleep while watching Matrix Reloaded tonight, I will be so pissed off....
On another note, it struck me tonight as I was doing my hopework in Beth's room that I really should start doing my homework with girls of the non-best-friend type, that is, arrange for the possibility that more will be accomplished than mastering a tricky proof or two.
I wonder if I can legitimately claim A.A. Milne's Eeyore as a Kantian character? Even so, I don't have a copy of The House at Pooh Corner lying around to cite from, so it'd not do me much good.
New MSN screenname: "Slip, trip, and kiss me!" - see the Spill Canvas's full-length album and/or two paragraphs above.
Wednesday, Sixth Week
"That's why I have to conquer my fear of hills." - Shaina Nelson, 12/21
I changed my screenname from 'The only hope for writing in Russia' to 'My breakfast darling'. I dunna really expect anyone to get either joke. Scav Hunt begins in an hour and ten minutes. I'll probably go down to watch The Hunt at eleven, though.
So I got shafted in the house lottery. 705, my precious, precious 705, was open until the person raight before me.... and I'm stuck in 703 with some random dude. I plan to build a giant nest and live like Big Bird. I can hardly believe I'm in a worse room next year than I was this year! This sucks! But at least I got a room in Fishbein, and at least I'm the only one that got shafted. Hey, Matt Bayne even got his single. Go, Matt. Speaking of going, I think I shall.
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