Feeds:Saturday, Fourth Week back
"Oh, I'm smart; just not in the ways of learning." - Drew, 07/07
This song is cheering me up. ("I Just Threw Out the Love of My Dreams"by Weezer, covered by Men In Drag) I suppose that's a good thing, since I'm having one of those nights where I regret living past my twentieth birthday. Not even half a week goes by where I don't feel like that, wishing.... not that I died, because I put very little stock in that; not wishing I was dead, because I never plan to be so; not even really wishing that I'd just failed to live, because that's a horrible thing to wish; maybe just wishing.... just wishing I was done with this beautiul sham called Life, and on to that better, inestimably better life after it. But I have other things I need to write about.
I really can't see anyone caring much about what I write here. I'm fairly sure nobody reads this often at all, even those who used to sometimes: Z, Amanda, Hannah, Jacee even. I guess Erin reads it. Good for her. Apparantly my extended family has found it; better watch my mouth, neh? So, if you don't care, that's fine. I amuse myself plenty.
Wow, two depressing paragraphs in a row. Good thing they're only pseudo-depressing. Anyway, on Thursday, went with Lisa to the The Way show at the Underground. It was great. I was disappointed that they didn't play "Hard to Believe", but they had some awesome new stuff that picked up the slack. The headlining band, The Swift, was also bomb; some of their songs are still in my head. They also had a song that was addressed to me - "Moshing Machine". It's hilarious, moreso because it's somewhat of a slower, mellower song. Afterwards, she abducted me and we watched Chasing Amy, because it was the only one I haven't seen. After a while, Toby, her boyfriend, came over and hung out. He's a good guy; I'm happy for her. It's easy to see that he's a little.... jealous isn't the word, but he's a little possesive of her around me. It's a decent reaction, but I think we both know he's got nothing to worry about.
....Anyway, Chasing Amy. Man, that is an awesome movie. I almost want to watch it again yet this weekend. Go and see it, but not around your parents, kids, siblings, or anyone else easily affected negatively by what they watch/see you watching. It's got 'touchy' subject matter, and some very choice language, if you follow. I don't really care; I've heard worse. To me, it seems like an extremely Romantic story, capital R. No swordfights or pirates, true, but still a great movie. Hey, if I can have Life is Beautiful as one of my favorite movies, why not this one?
On that note, I want to see Pirates of the Carribean; it's intriguing, as all pirate movies are. Like Jonah. Yeah, the VeggieTales one. I want to see that.
I started training at Denny's on Wednesday, and I'm started at Homewood Suites (by Hilton) on Monday; server and housekeeping, respectively. Denny's isn't bad. In fact, it's fun, if tiring. I get a bit distracted sometimes, though; today I played with the kids' toys for about half an hour. (I was upfront, training in Hosting. Everyone else says Hostressing, but.... yeah.) Also, there's girls, or rather, young women. Well, some of them are girls. It's not some big thing, because I really don't care about that -during the day, anyway. Obviously, I get moody at night. But some of the other employees are kind of cute. Penny, for example. Cute like buttons. Everytime I hear her name, I think of Penny from Inspector Gadget. She actually looks rather like that, but grown up. Jill, my fellow trainee, is very pretty, but four years older than me.
Sidenode: Yesterday, while at work, I found a wowan significantly older than myself beautiful, for the first time in my life that I can recall. I can't even say what it was. Her age was obvious, but.... she wasn't beautiful despite that, she was beautiful through it. Made me think that maybe there still are things to look forward to.
And there's Emily. Now, 'Emily' is already an attractive name, but this particular Emily, a hostess, is a little darker in complexion and has beautiful hair, but what struck me is her Eyes. It was all I could see the first few times I looked at her. They're just.... they're.... man, they're, like, Eyes. Most people have just eyes, but these.... these are Eyes. They're a shining (think spotlight now) pair of features that are too bright to be blue and too pale to be grey, if that's not too poetic to make sense. Today I was able to take in the rest of her, and she's definately cute. I think she was even in a dream I had last night; except in the dream she was a cousin of Nate Aldrich. She said to me, when we were alone in my grandmother's living room, that she found me charming. I answered, from my seat on the floor, that I thought she was terribly beautiful. But I learned today that she's probably too young for me. Maybe I should stop assuming things like that, though I think that was probably an accurate estimation in this case.
Describing Emily's eyes was one of my main reasons for posting. That done, there's also a manager there, named Erin, who I wouldn't have found beautiful a couple years ago. She looks terribly like Amanda. Incidentally, my/my family's invitation to Amanda's weddin in August just came in the mail. I saw it today. It's cute. I think my dad expected some big reaction, but I already knew after all. It's not that I don't care, because I'm happy for her as a friend. But I guess I'm not a terrible good friend to Amanda, since I tend to keep my feelings about her repressed. I dont know if I've ever mentioned it, but I was still in love with her when she broke up. I don't think I am know; I try to not be. That's horrible, but it's just like what I remember her saying as it happened: Love hurts too much.
I am now trying to be nicer to Drew. It's not easy. Good things he's leaving for a week.
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