Wednesday, Ninth Week
"It's a release party, in honor of release." - 'Notes from Academe', Eric Hoover
Hmmm, at this rate I could re-emerge as an internet entity after all. Let me get my notes. Ah, yes, here we are.
'Self-destruction should be faster than this.' If I recall correctly, I meant that I'm gradually eroding my personality. This was just before I bought Sennet's The Corrosion of Character for class and realized that that's probably what the book is about.
Also, I try to get good grades, and that's part of the reason for the above-stated erosion. So why do I try so hard? I'd been assuming it was to please my parents, but 'My desire to please my parents is not that strong -I am lying to myself.' If that's not a scary revelation, I don't know what is. I don't really want to think right now about what it might be that is really motivating me, because I'm guessing I won't like it. Have to deal with it eventually, I'm sure, but that can wait for Christmas break. Probably better for my final grades if it does.
So, I got angeled today. Forget whatever you may be thinking about that. I received a message, a very clear one. It was a brownie. I had been wallowing in self-pity and wretchedness, and God sent me a message saying, "Buck up, it'll all be OK. Trust me." This message came in the form of Erin, Caroline's roommate from last year, serendipitously carrying a brownie that she wanted to give away. And you know what? Everything is OK. That Lord God Almighty, He's a character, but you have to give him props for His timing.
So anyway, guess what I discovered today. I'm listening to it now. I had heard about it, but couldn't get it on my radio; too far away. Apparantly KAUR is also planning on doing webcast soon, which makes me happy. And for a while now, I've been listening to to KTC Radio, but I'm sure that's not for everyone. Shoot, it's not even for me most of the time. But this WNUR is good. Think I'll be playing this a fair bit from now on. "You can sing along with the radio on." Or the line that comes right before it:
"If loving you is wrong, I don't want to be wrong. Bye."
Tuesday, Ninth Week
"Why do I keep forgetting to put on pants?" - Mike LaRocco, 05/01/03
Man, am I a whiney baby or what, posting two days in a row? My defense: I read the entire It Never Rains archive this afternoon. It's amazing how long I've been reading that comic. I love it so; it makes me wish my life were a bit more dramatic; more that that, it makes me wish I could cartoon. I should stop whining and just do it, I know, but I also know that ideally I should stop whining and just write my fake lab report and then get to work on that SOSC paper. Coui aye, it's been almost a week since that sucker was due.
But we all know I'm still going to whine. At least I'm not screaming 'WHY IS LIFE SO FREAKING HARD?!' at the top of my lungs. Maybe I should. But anyway, I was cleaning my desk just now, and found the note I wrote to remind myself to post about Paige Kuiper. There, now I canthrow the note away. No, but really, I haven't seen this girl since, like, graduation, and it's not like I was that close to her, ever, even though we did go through 13 years of school together. Good times. But anyway, a couple nights ago, I had this really cool, weird dream. Adventure, and the like. But in this dream, I run into Paige in, like, some hotel, if I remember correctly. She hung around for a good while, too. As they say, "But if I understood the unconscious, then it wouldn't be the unconscious anymore, very well would it now?"
"Likewise, changing just because I say so? Rearranging yourself with nowhere to go, feeling vertigo?" I should quote Furthermore more often. "Have you ever contested that which continues to be true? Have you ever considered that you make a great big fool of you?"
"Also, I want to remind you, haunting memories are hunting you down, wanting you to drown."
Monday, Ninth Week
"Having a case of beer is like having an ID, right?" - Igy, 11/24
Oh, those crazy vegans. They're trying to convince me to not eat any turkey on Thanksgiving. I only just realized that there's no reason why I would, since I'm not eating with my family.
Oh, yeah, and this had to be done. *tongue*
Sooo.... tacos. That is to say, fetus hat.
Yeah, and Dinesh wants me to teach him to play hackey-sack. I'm not entire sure why.
So I finally did a full computer science homework today. Total hours, approximately 7.5; total pages, 14-15. Thank goodness it was easy. Yeah, but I still have to write a fake lab report, which I'll probably attend to after I'm done here, and that pesky paper on The German Ideology. Bah.
So, yeah, I just realized I'd completely forgotten for most of this quarter that Life's So Rad. Because, you know, it is.
I was just trying to think of what I did this weekend (besides work / despair), and I remembered this: I witnessed the single stupidest thing I've ever seen anyone do here. That is, I watched Dan and his friends from out of town roll and light a joint in the house lounge. Smoking up in public = stupid. Smoking up someplace where smoking isn't even allowed, and is therefore more noticeable = even stupider. Talking about it in reasonably loud voices while doing so = so stupid as to be barely believable. I swear, they must have already been drinking, or something. Idiots.
Yeah, and I got cookies from my mommy. They're the only food I have. I ate them for breakfast yesterday, and will probably do so again tomorrow. Unless, of course, Anna is reading this, still doesn't hate me despite that, and wants to cook me food. *puppyeyes*
I need candles. Candles are fire fun.
Friday, Eighth Week
"I could really use a heart and a sledgehammer." - Dylan, 06/26/03
I just went a-wife-in', with little success. That is, I got three nos, one 'When I'm 89', and one 'Maybe if you had a ring.' Not that bad, really. The thing was, there was definitely somewhat of a dirth of young women about the Shoreland tonight. Perhaps because it's Friday? In any case, I've resigned myself for the present to bachelorhood and homework. Or at least, posting and playing songs about love.
Yeah, I made a whole 'love' playlist in WinAmp. It's 66 songs long. I have the urge to tell everyone what songs are on it, but it's just too long. And all this came about because, while riding my bike home, I was struck by an incredible urge to procreate. Children are nice. See, Hannah? You're not alone. At least you've found a spouse.
The funny thing is, Geoff had been trying to convince me earlier today that it was high time we both found wives for ourselves. But for some reason, he didn't want to come wife-ing with me.
So a lot else has happened since I last posted. A lot. Aaron decided not to go to formal. My homily went well. Aaron changed his mind. I had fun at formal regardless. Worst mental image ever: Six-legged zebraffe, wearing a fetus hat, devouring its mate. A zebraffe is a cross between a zebra and a giraffe, and those two extra legs are sticking out and grotesque angles; one of them is actually comeing out of the back of the animals. I'm going to paint it on my wall and never sleep again. Made a calendar out of brown paper.
And Synaesthia. "Where could I be on a Thursday night, all dressed up in flawless white?" Only a few could've pulled that off, and all of them are at this university. Glad I'm not failing out. So, yeah. P1XEL. They didn't do the whole rock opera this time, but they had some new stuff, and word is that they're working on a new musical. Sadly, Dr. Throbbin' and Burnin', MD is leaving the group. He was my favorite character, too. And the girls! Where did they get those girls? I can barely believe that they were real; they seemed like fairie. I wouldn't be surprised if some of them were. You see, each member of the band has a distinctive colour: silver, yellow/orange, red, blue, and green. At this event, there was a girl for each, dressed in the appropriate manner. Well, except for green. Since the keyboardist, who wears green, is female, there was a male wearing green. He looked suspiciously like a leprechaun. Refreshments were milk and water, and the girls/boy were handing out candies of of their respective colours. And the audience had been instructed to dress all in white, as well. My only regrets are that I didn't think to wear my white gloves and that I hadn't brought an extra pair of white boxers to throw onstage.
I'll end with this (11/20):
Ian: "And you were contemplating suicide."
Maria: "No, I wasn't; I was just thinking about it."
Monday, Seventh Week
"Ian, are you my conscience?" - Maria, 11/10
Well.... um.... yeah. Mind just went so blank.
Tyrannus is down, which annoys me. I had a pretty good empire going in aleph null. Yeah.
Saturday, Went to Leona's. Such good calimari, and a generous amount for the price, too. Mmm. I also lost a big chunck of time, but it was still a good day. I kinda just hung out with Anna B. and Vanessa the whole time.
Friday was awesome. Diocesan convention was fun, and I got back with plenty of time to help with the show, which was the BOMB. Check it out. Written in the Sand brought another band, The Stare, along with them, and they were also great. Good times. I may talk more about that later.
But, yeah, I'm now in the middle of a convoluted mess that's going to cost me forty bucks. Not cool. I'm contemplating various ways to maximize my positive outcome, and my situations is not a horrible one, but.... well, at least it's not my own fault, and at least I'm only auxilary to the conflict. (If you are wondering how one can be in the middle of something and at the same time auxilary to it, perhaps I should point out that this is, in fact, a polar conflict. Hui!) Neha wants to go to the Fall Formal with Kurtz. Kurtz would rather not go, but wants to go with Neha. Because Kurtz initially refused, Neha asked me to escort her, and I accepted. We then got Andy from Dewey to agree to take Kari, which is not really relevent, but was nevertheless fun. So now Kurtz is planning to go, unbeknownst to Neha, either stag or with someone else, whereupon date-swapping would occur. Therefore, my options are to persuade Kurtz not to go, to persuade Kurtz (and Neha) to buckle and go together, or to go along with this and just tell Kurtz who I want him to bring, since I definitely don't want to pay for this and then just hang out by myself. I think the first option is unlikely, because Kurtz is a stubborn kid, so that leaves the second option as most desirable. Alright, then. Shouldn't be that hard, since it's what they both want to do anyway.
I've decided to start calling everyone darling. Hoo-ah.
Wednesday, Sixth Week
"Yes, I'm pretty smart; smart as a whistle." - Alan, 10/17
Am I getting predictable or what? Actually, I had written a post earlier, today, but it seems I lost it. Wasn't important, in any case.
Wish I had a picture of what I looked like this evening. I was pretty kickin'. I didn't look as cool as I do in the coolest picture EVARR, but I still looked heya cool.
So I saw the third Matrix movie. My expectations were not high, I know, but this movie blew me away. It had, literally, the perfect ending, which was the unavoidable and only possible ending as well. It was so marvelous. I love it. If you see it, and you comprehend what I'm saying, then.... well, there's nothing more I can say. And if you don't, the same holds, as I found out on the bus ride back. You see, half the people I went with apparantly just didn't get the movie, which is sad. I actually want to go back and watch the second one again, and see if it is improved in light of this one. I guess I can do that Friday, huh?
On another note: It's even funnier if you knew that they were sock-hangers. Only two people figured that out.
Wednesday, Fifth Week
"Bald people are the devil!" - Drew, 08/04/03
Just realised the other day that I still haven't overhauled this page yet. I did the layout changes, sure, but there's still no access to the backlog. I must amend this.
This is a crazy week of midterms. I'll probably upload my SOSC essay, though, because I like it. Well, I'll see if I can fix this up, then.
And then I'll get my shoes shined!
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