Feeds:Friday
"I always make time for stalking." -Leah, 05/24/2004
So I just changed my MSN screenname from 'Sluggle, James K. Polk, and Einstein' to 'Less than I deal'.
And apparantly she also established a weather conspiracy in record time, making it drop into the thirties last night as I lay on the cold, hard ground. My contacts have been in for well over fifty hours, and I haven't slept in my ow bed for two nights. Apparantly, I unthinkingly told Antoine about the sleep-out when I came home to drop stuff off this morning, and so the mystery of it all is ruined. Ish.
"I was young and foolish then, I feel old and foolish now."
I thought of something to ask for for my birthday as I rode my bike to Bio, but forgot it in the hustle of showing up late. It bugs me that I can't remember, because it was a good thing to ask for.
I'm so psyched about my application, but I have to wait two years to turn it in. Of course, by then it'll be awesome.
As a general rule, a rap adaptation of Green Eggs & Ham that has a line like "Tennyson wrote, and I quote:" is pretty good stuff.
Karla is chiding me for running out of rum. It feels surreal.
I [worry that? wonder if? consider unhappily the possibility that?] I perhaps am spending too much time with Leah at a) the neglect of my other friends b) the neglect of my studies and c) the risk of becoming too attached. I mean, I want to be attached, but the timing, as is timing's wont, is not ideal. In fact, it's pretty bad. I mean, yes, a month isn't that short a time, but it's not that long, either. I don't want to go into 'Leah withdrawl' or anything like that; I know that sucks.
Which is why I'm frustrated by my seeming inability to control myself around her. That sounds worse than it is. As most who know me could testify, I have a high-end-of-moderate amount of self-control, and moreover, it's not like she's trying to get me to do anything I don't want to. Actually, that's the problem. I want to. I've done what I wanted to, for the most part, despite telling myself over and over, before I even met her, that some of those things are Bad Ideas.
Wasn't I complaining about having too strong a will a short while back?
I would say "Maybe I'm afraid of going too fast," except that I know I'm afraid of going too fast. I've done it before, and it led to one of the very few regrets I have. I don't want to screw up again; call me a perfectionist. But I also don't want to offend Leah by either acting regressive or by blowing her off and doing things without her. Truthfully, yes, I'd rather do things with her, especially since she's such a fun person, and likes to do the same kind of things I do. But, like I said, I want bot not to go to fast or to spend too much time with her at the expense of other valuable areas of my life.
Hey, at least I don't have to "betray the honoured father of the girl I adore."
"Away, away! Ere I expire!" ....of hunger.
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