Feeds:Friday, Eighth Week
"Maybe you want to go to Noodles Et Cetera. But you shouldn't. Because I'm convinced that 'et cetera' stands for food poisoning." -Pedro, 05/19/2005
I have something I want to talk about. You know how when something's on your mind, you see it everywhere? Like the number 23. It's all over. Just look.
But 23, cool as it is, is not what I'm here to talk about. Sometime last week, Leah and I had a Talk. The latter half of this Talk was on the subject of faith. I said some things I should've emphasised earlier; she, already a little emotional, said some things that made me cry, then I said some things that made her cry for a long, long time. It was a miserable time for both of us; there were a lot of misunderstandings involved. Things have now been worked out, misunderstandings cleared up, and we know where we are, where we're going, and what we're going to do about it, though I still feel like kind of a jerk sometimes.
The long and the short of it is this: I love her and she loves me, but I love God more. If I had to choose between them, I would have to choose God. I don't want to have to choose. She doesn't want me to have to choose. Because of her love for me, she will care about her own faith. For this, I am overjoyed.
Any person with life experience knows, however, that some choices are not made once but an infinite number of times. Thus, the problem, though resolved, weighs heavily on my mind. And I went to see Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Lucas last night with Fishbein and Dewey. In the movie, Anakin Skywalker feels that he has to choose between his faith (ie. the Jedi Council and the light side of the Force) or the woman he loves (ie. Natalie Portman). This caught my attention, of course. Anakin eventually betrays the Jedi Council in the hope of saving Padme, but his conversion to the Dark Side irrevocably changes him. No longer being who he was before, he loses Padme anyway; is, indeed the cause of her death. This, incidentally, causes him to scream "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" in a manner extremely reminiscent of Jeremy.
I still don't know how I feel about this. As a Star Wars fan, I am satisfied. As someone searching for answers, I am not. Even though I went down the 'other road', and have not lost the woman I love, this resolution seems a little too pat. Is that what we are supposed to learn? That selfishness is always self-defeating in the end? I don't buy it. I've read the Bible. I know that the wicked often prosper while the righteous suffer. As to Star Wars.... well, we all know it's fiction, right? It didn't actually happen a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. I guess it can afford to be pat.
Though I don't know that it could afford to kill off General Grevious so early in the movie; the only character that was more lovable or more badass was R2-D2. Why don't they have shirts that say (Mmm, sacrilige) 'WWR2D2D?'
Comments have closed.