Smallhouse Log

Third Sunday after the Epiphany

A brief history of the last few weeks: Yesterday, I attended the Chicago Womens March with my wife, daughters, and about a quarter million others. I am almost done buying us a house, probably. I need to get another job. I made a personal proverb generator and then tinkered with it extensively. Mostly, we've been sick, all of us, unceasingly. Christmas with with all the members of my family, though not all at once. I am trying to build a new PC, and having a LOT of trouble with it; most recent analysis suggests that the CPU is just defective. I've stood up against a lot of racist and otherwise bigoted remarks rather than let them pass unremarked. I finally beat Rogue Legacy and then beat the increasingly hard aftergame modes in quick succession.

Most recently, I completely forgot what I came here to write about.

Wednesday before Thanksgiving
"Let's say your heart is made of gasoline, okay?" -Anthony, pd

I've been experimenting with cutting myself off from the Facebook in the wake of the election, and I find it really improves my mood. After reading a blog post about the deleterious effects of social media on attention and focus (apparently blogging isn't social media?) I'm considering giving it up altogether, or perhaps doing a check-in one day a week only. Because I've noticed, too, the addictive, distracting qualities of the medium. I mean, sometimes, I'll be browsing my news feed and think, this is boring, let's see what's happening on facebook and start to type in the address while I'm already on the site! Clearly, there is a problem.

Does this mean more blogging for me? Maybe. I'm not sure what it means, until I do it and see what of social media I miss.

It may mean a looooooot more song lyric posts.

Wednesday, fifth week after Summer Lab

So there's some controversy right now about a footballer who sat silently through the National Anthem in protest. Not protesting the Anthem, though now that I've read a bit about Francis Scott Key's Opus it's clear that we could do with a better one; rather, protesting the state of injustice our nation has tolerated and is still being tolerated today. Specifically: "There are bodies in the street and people getting paid leave and getting away with murder."

If anyone has successfully shut themselves off completely from their news shunt and needs this explained, he's talking about extralegal killings (y'know... murders) by on-duty police officers, and the (to put it lightly) less-than-satisfactory response thereto by the police departments overseeing them. It's a problem. Right now, for a lot of people, it is the problem, because it's the one most likely to get someone they know killed. Black men need to be wary of the police, and ever since the Dallas sniper, officers just doing their duty are worried they could be killed for someone else's bad actions. Really, it's both groups that need to be worried because they could be targeted for someone else's bad actions.

Now, I can admit my understanding of things isn't perfect. I don't put my life on the line in a blue uniform so that my fellow citizens can live in safety. As a blue-eyed white male over six feet tall with great hair, I get discriminated for, not against, and learning all the legion of insidious ways such discrimination happens has been a painful and lengthy journey that I am not nearly done with. Not as painful as, you know, actually living through it on the other side of things literally from birth. But I can still resent that discrimination against my neighbors, and the harm it does both to individuals and our society. And yeah, I'm gonna protest, and yeah, if I had a platform like Kaepernick I can hope that I'd have the guts to take a stand (well, sit) and face whatever backlash came my way. As to the man himself, well, he made a lot of people angry. But he knew what he was doing, and he knew what it could mean for his career: "If they take football away, my endorsements from me, I know that I stood up for what is right." I respect his bravery and will try to follow his example.

As to the form his protest has taken... honestly, I don't like when people sit during the Anthem. It really tears me up. I used to work in a sports bar, and every time the Anthem played I would pause somewhere out of the way and place my hand on my heart, which made me feel a little silly when I was the only one doing it. And while I've mentally castigated these unpatriotic bargoers hundreds of times, I bet they get a free pass from those criticizing Kaepernick today. Me, I'd rather have a hundred thousand athletes intentionally protesting during the Anthem because they want a more just society than see even one more "sports fan" treating it like elevator music because they can't be arsed to put down their burger and stand up for three minutes.

A lot of other, better, and certainly more concise comparisons have been made. But this is what I think, and I thought it needed to be said.

Saturday, second week after Summer Lab
"I see things in this restaurant that I've previously only seen in an Ohio airport." -Mark Gallagher, pd

Summer Lab is over, a good year but a hard one. I kept my files more organized than ever before, though there's still work to be done there. Got a lot of things on my to-do list, now, though since everyone's been sick the whole last two weeks, it seems like no additional time in which to do them. Ugh.

I'm sick, too, so should probably stop typing before I start complaining.

Friday, fourth week of Summer Lab

...because 'the season after Pentecost' stops being a useful marker after a while.

Not much more organized. Definitely not better slept. A few better parties. And in nutrition news, there seems to be a whole slew of new things I just can't eat, which is... fun. Fortunately, it seems to mostly be things I shouldn't eat anyway, and now I have a much more immediate reason not to eat them. Involuntary improvement.

Too tired and disorganized to remember what I came here to discuss. Perhaps later.

Monday, second week of Easter

I've been wanting to re-write the blogging software for the log, and I was just struck by the idea that perhaps I should have a more public log for development and whatever. And then I thought, why not just re-write the blogging software to make the new blog? That way, I won't mess anything up accidentally, probably, with the shlog (Is that a good name for this? No?). And if I like what I end up with, I can something something transfer it over to the shlog (It's growing on me). Though, at this point in my life, what is the shlog (I'm really into it now) for?

No, seriously, let's go into this, because I suspect that, historically, the purpose of what is now Smallhouse has been to allow me to say things like, "No, seriously, let's go into this" about whatever's on my mind. And the song lyrics, but I have Facebook for that now. That joke is funnier if you click the link while not logged in to Facebook, by the way.

So if the purpose of Smallhouse is [public introspection? outrospection? extrospection? No, that means something else] going into 'this', whatever, well, I've had a dearth of that recently. Why? Because I've got a real busy life, it seems, and haven't had much time or as much need, now that I'm not lonely, longing, and wary of the future. Plus I think I finished growing into an adult, though I'm not sure how I feel about that. For all that, though, I do feel that my life would benefit from more examination, especially since I've got most of my old problems sorted and, presumably, have a new set of problems.

What are my problems? I'm still frustratingly disorganized. I still don't know how to do many of things I think society expects of me, or how to find the time to figure them out (see 'disorganized', above). I have a domestic partner that I share literally everything but my secret doughnuts with, and I'm not sure how to write about that without infringing on her privacy or feelings. I've got lots of creative energy that's running up against time budgets and lack of infrastructure (see 'disorganized', above). The only thing I'm not worried about is growing old. And finding or retaining a mate, I've got that one in the bag.

What are my solutions? I think I once said that most of my problems were caused by lack of sleep, lack of nutrition, lack of parties, or lack of churchgoing. What I'm saying is, if you have a good church or a good party to which you'd like to invite me, please do. Don't know how much can be done about the lack of sleep in the next five years. I'm working on the nutrition (well, OK, I just ate a cookie while typing that). Hopefully, I can figure out the rest.

Maundy Thursday

A computer crash has become the impetus to finally revert my music player of choice to an outdated version - before they killed off the feature that made it worthwhile in the first place. I am talking about iTunes Party Shuffle, obviously. This has lead to some necessary maintenance on my music library, which is going satisfactorily. Maybe next I can finally get around to organizing my photos again - something that is much more involved with a spouse, I've found.

The crash has also led to me replaying some NES classics on emulator. I finally beat River City Ransom, and I cannot really understand why I had so much trouble with it before. I think because I never figured out how to jump when I was younger? I was also cruising through Crystalis, until I accidentally deleted my savegame. Haha, just like the original NES!